I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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