wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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