oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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