So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you inspire me to be a worse person
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
