And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
