would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
