My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
