I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
