The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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