so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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