Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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