i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
