Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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