Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
