And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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