I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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