i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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