one word: firstdatebathroomanal
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
