have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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