goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I am morally bankrupt
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
