it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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