At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
