you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
