my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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