Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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