i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
