Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
