too bad you live with your parents still
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
