hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We got so high we made milksteak
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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