Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
