You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize