I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize