the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
