About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
