I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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