they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
