too bad you live with your parents still
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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