my sisters under your porch take her home
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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