i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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