the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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