So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
