Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
