I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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