You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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