She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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