she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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