i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?