I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize