Do you still have your period?
I skipped work to stalk him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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