I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize