The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You were trust falling into bushes
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize