You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
