just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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