Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
