Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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