my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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