Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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